You'll Never Walk Alone
by KiloAlphaTango
Summary: One Shot Ellen deals with the possibilty of her cancer returning.


**You'll never walk alone**

Ellen shivered as she sat on the bench outside of the A&E department, slowly as if by magic snow began to fall around her but she didn't feel her usual joy at the sight of it, she was too scared. Her uniform did little to keep her body warm from the rapidly decreasing temperature but she didn't care, she wanted to freeze, she wanted the cold to freeze every part of her body, wanted to freeze the cancerous cells that could once again threaten her life. Today was Christmas Eve. As a child this had been her favourite night of the year; she'd patiently sit up at her window, even after she'd been told to go to sleep to try and catch just the faintest glimpse of Santa riding by with his reindeers – she'd never seen them of course but she never gave up. But that was different she had something to believe in, the magic of Santa and the presents she'd receive the next morning. With this cancer, she wasn't sure she could fight any more, last time had drained all of her energy and this time there was nothing for her to fight for. She no longer had her step-sister for comfort and support, she didn't have a boyfriend and although she had friends there was only one who she felt close enough too to share this with and yet right now he seemed almost unreachable. The department was filled to bursting with patients, some with major injury that she knew would be spending Christmas in the hospital and some who were just there for some warmth and attention. But she knew this was not the reason for his distraction, there was something on his mind but she just couldn't tell what. Her teeth began to chatter but still she stayed seated, just watching as the world continued to go about its business, everyone almost completely unaware that she was even sat there. She knew the results would be in soon, not the results of some reality show that the rest of the world got addicted to but results that ultimately held the answer to whether or not she was dying. She shivered again, she felt colder than ever before but she didn't want to leave, it was nice here.

She felt something being placed over her shoulders, it was warm and soft. She turned slowly; he was stood behind her, his face filled with concern. He wrapped his jacket tighter around his body and sat down beside her. Gently he ran a hand over her frozen cheek; he almost winced as he felt how cold it was.

"You're scared aren't you?" he said gently drawing her close to him, wrapping his arms around her partly to warm her body but also to protect her. He knew in his heart that he couldn't really protect her but it made him feel better. She nodded against him, unable to talk. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes but she daren't give in to them.

"I can't go through it again, Harry, I just can't" she pleaded; he wasn't sure if she was pleading with him or some higher being who could magically change the results.

"Whatever happens, I'll be with you, I promise" he said softly. Her eyes widened widened with surprise "come inside, warm up" he didn't allow her to answer. He stood and pulled her up with him. Slowly he led her inside, the department was almost boiling compared to outside and it was a shock to her system. He didn't take her back to the department; he didn't take her upstairs to get the results. He led her straight in to his office and gently he sat her down on one of the seats.

"We'll fight this together, Ellen. This and anything else that stands in our way" he said, his own eyes glistening with tears. He'd already seen the results; he hadn't been able to help himself. He gently kissed her forehead and then flicked on the radio that was on his desk. It came to life after a few seconds,

"This song is dedicated to Ellen Zitek, from Harry" the radio DJ announced. Ellen looked shocked, and then the music started, Harry sang to it, his eyes shining with tears, his entire heart and soul in the song. As he sang Ellen found tears slipping down her cheek. She loved him so much and she didn't want to make him deal with this but she knew from the look in his eyes that she could protest as much as she liked, he wasn't go to let her do this alone and that in itself made her change her mind. Now she had someone to fight for. This cancer could take everything from her – her hair, her energy, her fertility but none of that mattered because she knew that Harry loved her and that she loved him. she knew that she had his children as well, one smile of Daisy could lift her spirits, Kizzy's laugh made her laugh and the boys, Jordan made her feel like a million pounds and Ollie was a such a comedian just a few minutes in his company could make you smile. This was her future – and she desperately wanted it, more than she'd wanted to see Santa. She wanted this more than anything in the world. She turned to the window, and silently sent this wish to Santa.

'When you walk through the storm  
Hold your head up high  
And don't be afraid of the dark  
At the end of the storm  
There's a golden sky  
And the sweet silver song of the lark

Walk on, through the wind  
Walk on, through the rain  
Though your dreams be tossed and blown  
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart  
And you'll never walk alone  
You'll never walk alone

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart  
And you'll never walk alone  
You'll never walk alone'

_the song is You'll Never Walk Alone by Rodgers and Hammerstein from Carousel._


End file.
